Do You Think These Bruises Are Sexy?

I got doored yesterday. I feel somewhat initiated now. It wasn’t so bad because I wasn’t going very fast, but it all ended with me comforting the lady who opened the cab door because she was in tears. As a memento, I have the weirdest – and coolest! – bruise I’ve ever had:

It’s a pointillism bruise! I acquired it on the way to go vote for this lady. It would have been nice if she had won, but alas…

A few other things I’ve been up to:

– We visited Socrates Sculptures Park. I thought it was a park with a bust of Socrates, or something. But no, it’s a park full of odd sculptures.

– Took an extended stroll through Central Park on Wednesday and was as giddy as could be when we stumbled upon this guy making gigantic soap bubbles. The giddiness was quickly dampened by the multitude of stroller gangs. After that we went to Piola to get my catupiry fix via the São Paulo pizza. I urge everyone in the city to go get it because it’s fucking amazing.

– On Saturday, to inaugurate the boyfriend’s new bike and the fall weather, we went picnicking on Governor’s Island, which is my absolute favorite place in the city. I would trade my thumb to live there, that’s how serious I am about it.

Our sweet spread: turkey and ham sandwiches, grapes, olives, cheeses, chips and dip, wine in tea bottles, and Doughnut Plant jelly and glazed doughnuts. By the way, I would Liz Lemon the shit out of Doughnut Plant if I could.

My ham and extra sharp cheddar sammich. Yum!

My shoes became an impromptu jukebox stand.

My bike.

The boy’s bike. I have some serious bike envy over this.

Stained glass in a chapel on the island.

Shells hanging from this jellyfish-looking wind chime. Speaking of jellyfish, I think they’re evolutionary pimps. They have the fastest biological response in nature (the nematocyst release), multiple eyes and a nervous system but no brain to process any of the input. HOW can you have vision and no brain? Through sheer, gelatinous will.

I will end with what I believe is one of the funniest things on Youtube. Enjoy.

Things I Love Thursdays

I like things properly filed and organized. Not because I’m an awfully neat person, but because symmetry is just the cat’s pajamas. As such, I’m going to try to keep these Thursday lists categorical. What can I say, sub-categories just tickle my fancy.

With that said, I present you the cartoon edition of Things I Love Thursdays. Shall we?

Punch Trunk: My absolute favorite cartoon of all time. It’s absurd in every way, but then again so are things like √-1. If imaginary numbers can work their way into the equations that explain the foundation of all matter and energy, then I can hold out belief that a full-grown, 5in bull elephant will come out of some bananas somewhere in the world. Besides, the English language has never been put to use quite so beautifully and succinctly as in the statement “Picayune pachyderm panics populace”.

Cat and Dupli-cat: The best Tom & Jerry cartoon. The background in the opening scene is just beautiful. Bonus “Santa Lucia” doesn’t hurt it either.

Silly Symphonies: There are so many wonderful shorts in this series I couldn’t just pick one. These three cover everything from unusual to breathtaking. Get ready to spend hours watching these on Youtube.

Ferdinand the Bull: Ferdinand and I would so be friends and chill under the tree and smell the flowers together.

Dexter’s Laboratory: One of my favorite series, particularly because I remember watching the first episode on the day the series premiered. I may or may not still sing the closing credits song in the shower.

Samurai Jack: It’s epic, it’s stunning, it’s badass. It’s perfect. If anyone’s interested in watching Episode VII (my favorite), go here but be ready to deal with pop-ups.

Things I Hate Tuesdays

Man, do I love a good rant.

As much as like sharing the things I enjoy with whoever stumbles upon this thing, I also have an irrational hatred for a lot of stuff. I love positivity and gratitude, but a good dose of haterade helps keep things in perspective. So now it’s time to unleash the inner cynic:

Hot weather and humidity: The best thing about moving from Florida (where the picture above was taken and were it’s always sweltering) to New York is that I now only have to deal with a 3-month summer instead of a 11-month one. I don’t like wearing skirts or flip flops, I don’t like going to the beach, and I hate sweating for no reason. I can’t wait until it gets cold enough to comfortably wear a hoodie and listen to the Misfits nonstop. The Misfits in the summer just does not work.

Okra: It’s saddening the best veggie name belongs to the worst of them. I hate okra. It’s all gooey once you cook it and its texture is akin to that of freshly expectorated snot. No, thank you.

Velvet: I don’t like the way it looks, the way it feels, the way it smells. It’s icky and I want no part of it.

Jared Leto: Something about his smug, pretty boy face makes my blood boil. I don’t know anything about him other than I just want to smack the highlights out of his hair.

Getting my socks wet, and when the tongue on your shoe slips to the side: See, I don’t care if my socks slip or my shoes get wet, but should the converse happen I feel like smashing everything around me. This has to be an innate, genetic mutation that was finally expressed in my being because no reasonable explanation exists for these aversions.

Phil Collins: How could you not? His songs are annoying and his voice substandard. He also managed to make Tarzan an even worse movie than it would have otherwise been.

Best Worst Songs Sundays

We are all thoroughly guilty of enjoying songs that are objectively terrible. The lyrics tend to be basic (as in “We got food everywhere as if the party was catered”) and the subject matter objectionable, but it just has that hook that speaks to your primordial affinity for rhythm.

I like to call them “best worst songs” because, regardless of what you want your friends to think, you know you bounce around to them in your PJs. So I’m dedicating a day especially to these awfully awesome examples of music, beginning with the best worst song that started it all for me: R Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)”.

And to counteract (you know, because the universe dictates a balance must exist), here is an indubitably amazing song:

Things I Love Thursdays

Apparently, listing a handful of things you love on Thursdays is a trend in blog world. I’d never heard of it until this fly lady began doing it. It seems like a fun exercise in gratuitous commemoration of the things I like so I’m going to hop on this cheery bandwagon:

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: I am forever indebted to my friend Lindsay and all the crazy theater kids we hung out with for introducing me to the absolute best book series in the history of the world EVER. Going to the junk movie theater and eating gross nachos and cheese while singing along to “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish” is one of my life highlights.

Nutella: Does this even require explanation? It’s the cornerstone of my diet and nothing short of “fantabulous” can describe it. My heart breaks a little when I get to the end of the jar. Thank you WWII chocolate rations and Italian innovation!

My bike: It gets me places and helps me work out all that Nutella. And it’s just so pretty!

Dying and cutting my hair: For the better part of the last 8 months I was horribly depressed – I didn’t leave my house, I didn’t attend classes and I just barely managed to graduate. I just stopped caring. My hair grew down to my waist. One of the first things I did once I began getting better was to cut most of it off. The first time I cut my hair short and dyed it a crazy color was extremely liberating and I regained that feeling. It might sound silly to say that something as simple as a hair cut or dye job can change the way you feel but it’s a big deal to me.

Band t-shirts: I can’t live without them. I actually have all the ones pictured above – including two Misfits ones – and then some. Music is a big part of everyone’s life, and this is one of the ways I have of expressing its importance to me. They look awesome and are great conversation starters. A couple days ago I went to meet the professor I will be doing my first lab rotation with and I was wearing my Black Flag t-shirt. After talking chemistry, he pointed out my shirt and we started talking about music and it all culminated with him lending me a couple of CDs. So you see, Black Flag can help with networking as well as being your soundtrack for smashing shit.

I think that about covers it for today. Fuck, now I’m seriously craving eating a Nutella sandwich while riding my bike, dressed in a Crass t-shirt, with teal-colored hair and whistling “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish”…

Jake vs. the World

This weekend was a solid 8.5/10. Any weekend I get to wear my favorite t-shirt because it isn’t buried in the dirty laundry is automatically a good one:

– My boyfriend and I rode our bikes into and around the city. Had two near collisions because I am awfully inattentive and clumsy. With that said, New Yorkers should really try using their brakes more often. I promise it’s just as easy as using the horns.

– I had French toast with raspberry jam for breakfast on Saturday. Yum!

– I had Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast on Sunday. Double yum!

– Ate about five Nutella sandwiches this weekend. Quintuple yum! Their tagline should be “Everything’s better when covered in Nutella”. It’s ridiculous how much I love this stuff.

– I trimmed my bangs. It came out shorter than intended, but I quite like it.

– I got to watch Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It was amazing. I never read the comics – nor had I known of their existence – but the movie was pure joy. It was hilarious, none of the jokes were overused, witty and completely unpretentious. I know I missed most references made (save for the X-Men one, for which I was proud) but the movie still delivered. The comic book-ness of it all was visually stimulating and entertaining. I would watch it again, no bones about it.

– We took Izzy to the dog park. I am endlessly entertained by watching dogs roll around in dirt, chase and collide with each other, and owners scrambling around frantically trying to control it all.

– Went to friends’ house for dinner. While the stuffed peppers were great, the star of the night was their dog Jake. He’s insane and extremely high energy, but very intelligent and a total sweetheart. His antics put off my chubby, cranky, anti-social, old lady of a dog but he was relentless. It was a treat to watch him egg Izzy on.